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I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she. He walked over to her. "Get over there to the saw horse and lean over it now."She shook her head whimpering. "No."He ripped her shirt and bra off of her. "I told you that you would get a spanking, now get over there."Trying to cover herself with her hands she had walked over to the horse and was leaned over it so her ass was up in the air. Before she could react she found he hands being tied with rawhide to the horse, and after her shorts and undies were stripped off he tied her legs in place.He leaned down and kissed her neck. "You'll learn to be a good little girl quick, just like your dad did."She felt the leather of a whip run along her back. "Please, I'll do better. I was just scared."Listening to noe of her cries he demanded that she count the whips and if she missed a count they would go back to the start, a whip for every year she was alive. Howling in pain and bitig her lip through it Sara just barely managed to get out the last numbers.Before she could recover she felt his.
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